Who this is for: any parent who has wondered how we decide what is Sunnah, what is opinion and what is family habit. What you’ll get: what our labels mean, where we draw firm lines, and how to ask a scholar yourself.
Why we label
At the family table, “the Sunnah says” can mean three very different things. It can mean a text. It can mean a scholar’s opinion. It can mean “this is what we always did.”
When these blur together, parents feel guilty about things that were never required. So we tell you which is which, every time.
The five labels
Text
What it means: A verse of the Qur’an or a hadith, with its reference. We say when a hadith’s grading is disputed.
A real example: Tahnik. Sahih al-Bukhari 5467 reports the Prophet ﷺ doing tahnik with a date for a newborn.
Scholarly consensus
What it means: Scholars across the schools agree. We use this label only when a source says so.
A real example: The five daily prayers are obligatory.
Scholars differ
What it means: The schools or scholars give different answers. We show the range in two or three neutral lines.
A real example: Fidya. Shafi’i and Hanbali sources: make up the days and give fidya if she fears for her baby. Hanafi sources: make up the days only.
Custom
What it means: A family or cultural habit that does not come from the texts. A respectable label, not an insult.
A real example: Kajal on a baby’s face, or a black thread, to ward off the evil eye. One mufti we read says it has no basis in the religion.
Our reflection
What it means: MPL’s own thinking. We mark it as ours and never present it as scripture.
A real example: The Prophet ﷺ shortened a prayer when he heard a child cry (Bukhari 707). That report is text. “A baby’s cry mattered to him, so it can matter to us” is our reflection.
The fasting concession has its own text too. Sunan Abi Dawud 2408 reports the Prophet ﷺ saying Allah has lifted fasting from the traveler and from the nursing or pregnant woman (graded hasan sahih by al-Albani on sunnah.com). The concession is text. What she owes afterward is where scholars differ.
Some practices mix labels. Tahnik with a date is text. Jurists’ lists add “another sweet” if no dates are available. Honey is a later extension and a habit, not part of the reports, and honey is unsafe under 12 months. Dropping honey is not dropping the Sunnah.
The three tiers
1. Hard safety lines. These do not depend on fiqh. We state them plainly, with sources, and never soften them into “scholars differ.”
No honey before 12 months.
No lead-based kohl or surma on a baby.
Never sleep with a baby on a sofa or armchair.
No cutting of girls.
No striking that harms.
No coercive “healing.”
2. Informed choices. Scholars differ, and real options exist. Examples: gelatine-free vaccines, ear piercing, aqiqah done overseas, music and dolls. We show the range, the options and who to ask.
3. Traditions. Customs are labeled as customs, with respect. Your mother-in-law is giving what she was given. We name the practice, never the person.
Why we give the range, not a ruling
MPL is a parenting lab. We are not a fatwa body, and we do not issue rulings.
Qualified scholars of different schools reach different answers on many family questions. Our job is to show you that range fairly, tell you what to ask, and send you to someone qualified. Our standing line is: “Scholars differ on this. MPL does not issue rulings. Ask a qualified scholar of your school.”
For health questions, we also name what each country’s health authorities say, with a date. When they differ from each other, we show both.
Our source tradition
The hadith in our guides come mostly from Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim. When we use another collection, such as Sunan Abi Dawud, we give the number and a grading note where the grading is disputed.
When we show a scholar’s answer, we name their school (Hanafi, Shafi’i, Maliki or Hanbali), so you can see whose view it is. Shia and other readers are welcome here. Please ask your own scholars, whose answers may differ from the ones we show.
How we check
Every hadith is checked on sunnah.com and every verse on quran.com, with the reference given so you can check it too. Health lines are checked against official health guidance. Each guide shows the date it was checked, and every guide has a link to send us a correction. Who MPL is lives on our About page.
How to ask a scholar
What to bring
Your child’s age.
Any medical details, such as prematurity, allergies or a diagnosis.
Your school of thought, if you have one.
The exact situation, in a sentence or two.
Finding a scholar in a new city
Start with your local imam, or an imam at a masjid you trust.
Ask other parents who they ask.
Online services publish answers by named scholars with a stated school. Examples we have read: Darul Fiqh (Hanafi), Darul Ifta Birmingham (UK, Hanafi), SeekersGuidance (Hanafi and Shafi’i answers). For medicine and fiqh together, the Journal of the British Islamic Medical Association has published scholars’ opinions. How each one takes questions (checked Oct 2026): Darul Fiqh has a question box on its Contact Us page. Darul Ifta Birmingham has a web form on its Ask a Question page, and also offers meetings with a mufti. SeekersGuidance asks you to search its archive of answers first; if nothing fits, a web form appears, where you choose Hanafi, Shafi’i or general fiqh. These can change, so check each site.
Before you rely on any Q&A site, look at what else it says. We do not link sites that endorse harming children.
When two answers differ
Check each answer’s date and school. Two good answers from two schools can both be sound.
Ask your own scholar which answer fits your school, if you follow one.
For anything about your child’s body or safety, ask your child’s doctor too.
Remember the hard lines. They do not wait on a fiqh answer.
Choose the answer you can follow with a clear heart, and do not shame anyone who chose the other.
Our promise
No fear as a parenting tool. We will never use the Fire, or “Allah is angry,” to move you.
Mercy first. We start from Allah’s mercy, and the Prophet ﷺ’s gentleness with children.
No shame. You were doing your best with what you were told.
We keep in mind Qur’an 2:286: “Allāh does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity.” The verse also holds a du’a: “Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred.” (Sahih International, quran.com)
Last checked: October 2026. Spotted something out of date? Reply or leave a comment and we’ll fix it.
Sources
References checked Oct 2026: Sahih al-Bukhari 5467 and 707 and Sunan Abi Dawud 2408 on sunnah.com
Qur’an 2:286 on quran.com (Sahih International)