When the News Is Frightening (Ages 3–8)

MPL standing page. Who this is for: Muslim parents of children aged 3–8 when war, an attack on Muslims or a masjid (mosque), or hate is in the news. What you’ll get: what to do first, short true scripts by age, answers to two hard questions, helping actions, and when to get help.

Content note. This page mentions war, attacks on Muslims and places of worship, and the fear that follows. It names no attackers, describes no images and gives no graphic detail. If you need words for your child right now, skip to what to say by age.

First, you

If the news frightens you, that is reasonable. Hostility toward Muslims is documented in all five of our countries, and mothers and children are among those it reaches. Australia’s Islamophobia Register found that women and children bear the brunt. In New Zealand after 15 March 2019, some women stopped doing the school run.

You do not have to hide your feelings to be a good parent. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says it is fine to tell children, “It’s okay if these things bother you. We are here to support each other.”

What matters is tone. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN, a US network funded by SAMHSA) asks adults to watch their tone and what they say in front of young children. Children pick up on the room more than the words. Save the raw talk, the doom-scrolling and the angry phone calls for after bedtime or for another adult.

Take care of yourself too. UNICEF lists this among its tips. Eat. Pray. Call someone. If the fear feels too heavy, What Happens If I Tell? lists support for parents in your country.

Ask first: “What have you heard?”

Even preschoolers hear about major events. AAP says it is best that they hear about them from a parent.

So start by asking. Do it in the daytime, not just before bed. UNICEF suggests this.

“I wondered if you heard anything about something sad in the news. What did you hear?”

Then listen. You may find your child knows less than you fear, or has a muddled idea you can fix in one sentence.

Silence does not protect children. AAP says it can raise their anxiety. Bring the topic up, even with a young child. But do not force them to talk. If they say “I don’t want to,” say, “Okay. I’m here whenever you want.”

What to say by age

Three rules from AAP and UNICEF: keep it short, keep it true, keep it not graphic. Give accurate facts, not every detail. Then stop and let the child lead.

Ages 3–5

“Something sad is happening far away. People are hurt, and other people are helping them. You are safe here with me.”

Say it calmly and add a hug. If they ask more, answer the question they asked, not the one underneath.

Ages 6–8

“There is a war in [place]. Many people are hurt, and many grown-ups are working hard to help. It is far from our home. It’s okay to feel sad or scared. You can ask me anything.”

NCTSN says to tell children where the war is. Use a map or globe if it helps. Younger children may not tell a screen image from their own reality (UNICEF), so “far away” and “not here” are worth saying plainly.

If it was an attack on Muslims or a masjid

“A person did something very wrong to people who were praying. It was wrong, and grown-ups whose job is to keep people safe are working on it. We are sad about it, and we are looking after each other.”

Add anything that is true for you, such as “Our masjid has people who watch the doors.”

Children with autism or a developmental delay. AAP says to tailor the talk. Try fewer words, a picture or a simple story, and the same calm routine afterward. See Accessible Deen.

Keep little ones away from the coverage

NCTSN: “the younger the child, the less exposure.” If possible, preschool children should not watch coverage at all. AAP also says to keep young children away from repeated graphic images and sounds.

This is harder than it sounds. In a 2025 US census of children aged 0 to 8, Common Sense Media found that 40% have a tablet by age 2. Short videos, such as YouTube Shorts and TikTok, are growing while TV falls. A feed can show a child something frightening without you in the room.

Small steps:

Turn off autoplay on any app your child uses.
Watch the news after bedtime, or on headphones.
Keep the TV and radio off in the background.
For ages 6–8, sit with them when they watch, so you can answer questions.

UNICEF suggests considering switching off the news around younger children altogether. That is a fair choice.

“Will it happen to us?”

Do not promise. A promise you cannot keep breaks trust. But do not frighten either.

“I can’t promise nothing bad will ever happen. I can tell you what I do to keep you safe, and that lots of people are looking out for us.”

Then name real things: you, the school, your masjid’s volunteers, neighbors. After 15 March 2019, New Zealand’s Royal Commission heard that some Muslims met kinder neighbors. If that has happened to you, tell your child about it.

You can also be honest with yourself. Australia’s Register counted 309 verified in-person incidents between January 2023 and November 2024, 2.5 times any earlier period of the same length. These are reports, not a rate, and they cannot tell you what will happen to your child. They are a reason to prepare, not a reason to panic.

Preparing is in NCTSN’s advice: role-play what to say if someone says something hurtful. Practice one line, such as “That’s not kind. Stop.” and a second step, “I’ll tell my teacher.” Then check with your child gently, now and then, whether anyone has been unkind. UNICEF says to check that your child is not being bullied because of the conflict.

“Why do people hate us?”

This is the hardest question. Give the fear and then a step.

“Some people are scared of what they don’t know, and fear can turn into unkind actions. Hurting someone for who they are is always wrong. Most people are not like that. If someone is unkind to you, tell me or your teacher straight away.”

Keep it about actions, not about parties, leaders or news channels. MPL does not take sides in politics, and your child does not need to hold a political opinion at 5. It is fine, and right, to say that hurting people is wrong, and that the people who are suffering matter. That is moral witness. It is not partisan.

UNICEF’s phrase is a good rule: “spread compassion, not stigma.” Do not teach your child to hate back. Teach them that a whole group of people is never to blame for what some do.

Things your child can do

Helplessness is hard for children. A small action helps. AAP’s own list includes “write letters, say prayers, raise funds.”

Du’a (asking Allah in your own words). A young child can say, “Ya Allah, please help the children who are hurt.” Pray alongside them. No special Arabic needed.
Charity. Let them put coins in a jar and choose where it goes.
A card or a drawing. For a neighbor, a friend, or the masjid.
Look at the helpers. UNICEF suggests focusing on the helpers: doctors, rescuers, neighbors, aid workers.

Religious and community activities, and steady routines, also build resilience (NCTSN). Keep the usual bedtime, meals, stories and prayers. Predictable days tell a child, “We are okay.”

End each talk with care: a hug, a snack, a game. UNICEF suggests closing the conversation gently, then checking in again in a day or two.

Signs your child needs more help

Watch for these (AAP):

Sleep problems, physical complaints such as aches, clinginess, or going back to earlier behavior
Upset that lasts several days
Nightmares that keep coming
School or friendships getting worse

AAP says children from communities that face discrimination, or who have family ties to the conflict, may feel more distress. Children from war-affected or refugee backgrounds can be triggered by reminders.

If you see these, talk to your pediatrician (UK: GP or health visitor). If your child is in danger, call your local emergency number.

If your family or community was close to an attack

If your child was at the place, knew someone hurt, or lives near it, the steps above are the start, not the whole answer.

After 15 March 2019, New Zealand’s Royal Commission heard that children and spouses of affected families showed psychological distress, and that support was often limited or missed the variety of Muslim communities. Meetings often had no interpreters, so family translated. Some mothers carried the parenting alone with little time to look for help.
So ask for what you need, in your language. Ask for an interpreter. If you want a Muslim counselor, What Happens If I Tell? lists the Muslim-specific services we could verify.
Keep your child away from images and video of the event.
Watch for the signs in the section above, and ask for help sooner rather than later.

You are not overreacting. You are looking after your child.

Last checked: October 2026. Spotted something out of date? Reply or leave a comment and we’ll fix it.

Muslim Parenting Lab